I had a dream about you last weekend at the cabin. I lived in my house
in CA and the mail lady delivered my mail up two streets. I got in my
car and drove over there and the mailbox was the type with a big hinged
door like Post Offices have. When I opened it up, the mailbox was full
of presents from you. You know how you did, wrrapped up every little
thing you could find in cheap, ugly paper and then write our names on the scraps, on
the white side, and tape them to the present.
One said "Brenda Bear", (I have no idea where that came from), another said "JR", another said "Pam" written in your
hand writing with the cursive P like you did.
The woman who lived in
the house came out and was helping me with the presents and she said,
"Oooh, this is ruined, I'll throw it out." I glanced down and it was a
letter written from you on white lined paper in black ink. It had a few
holes like it had been dragged across something rough. I grabbed
the note from the woman and said, "NO! You can't! She's dying!!!"
And when I looked up, she was you. And we hugged and I could feel
you.
I woke up crying. Hating and loving the dream at the same time. Days later, I still don't think I'm completely back to normal.
The
hard thing is I think I am doing fine dealing with losing you day to day and
then I will have a dream like this. All of these feelings of loss come
rushing back and I am consumed by sadness all over again. But seeing
you is incredible, so please don't stop doing whatever you are doing if
you are the one doing it. We all miss you so much, Mom. We really do.
Thursday, July 9, 2015
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
Simplifying to the Extreme
Moving from a 2000 sq ft home (plus 2 car garage), to an 880 sq ft
cabin (with no garage), is not an easy feat, especially when you
presently store 3000 sq ft of stuff in 2000 sq ft. of space. Let's not
forget, the cabin is already full of it's own
furniture, pans, decorations, appliances, electronics, rugs, toothbrushes, etc. So to be technical, I am actually trying to fit close to 4000 sq ft of goods in under 1000 sq ft.
I am blessed with the gift of storage. I know how to fold, stack, rotate and hide things to get the most out of my space. I LOVE organizing! Taking a jumbled mess of pens, paper, paperclips, etc., and making a tidy display of them fills me with content, but my ability can only go so far. It was time to purge.
Not terribly long ago, I would make gargantuan quantities of lasagna, chicken pot pies or soup and freeze for later meals. I am anti-plastic, so there was no Ziploc or Tupperware. I had six 13" X 9" glass pans, eight glass and metal bread pans of varying sizes, four 8" sq glass pans, 6 glass pie plates, canning jars galore, you get the idea. This began the seemingly never ending task of downsizing. I asked my daughter if she needed any pans and after she took what she could use, I was still left with quite a pile.
This left me with a dilemma, what do I do with everything I am de-cluttering?
I turned to Facebook and searched for virtual yard sales around my area. I came up with six different groups with over 6,000 members and started joining. After being accepted, I took pictures of my unwanted items, posting them with prices and details on each group. Thus began my 3 month journey of the most annoying time in my life.
I am incredibly anal. I am structured. I am impatient. I answer all of my emails and messages promptly. I hate people who aren't true to their word. I trust people. I believe a person when they say they will be at my home at 3:00 pm.
Never have I been stood up by so many people, then ignored when I try to contact them to see where they are. I am not exaggerating. For every person who came to my home to pick up an item, there were 10 more that didn't show, had an emergency, got called in to work, got in an accident, whose child was sick, chipped a tooth, twisted their ankle or disappeared from the face of the earth. This is fine, you can have all the catastrophes you like, but TELL ME!!! Cancel the meeting BEFORE the meeting time. When you are supposed to be at my home at 2:00 pm and are still waiting at the Doctors office at 2:15 pm when I contact you to see if you are on your way, you will not be making the 2:00 pm appointment you set. LET ME KNOW!!! I tried so hard to blow it off, but every time it happened, I felt like screaming!
I had my first ocular migraine caused by, you got it, stress.
I am $3,500 richer and besides my quadruple stroller which sold for $650, the majority of my items sold between $10 and $20. You do the math. This is how many people I have had interactions with. I only have a few more sell-able items, so I think I will make it out alive, thankfully.
Down-sizing has always been something I have been drawn to. It thrills me to think I will only be surrounded by things I love, things I use. It pleases me to know when I open a cupboard, I will like every single coffee cup in there. To look up from my book and see artwork made by my Mom or an antique egg basket perched just so, it warms my heart.
But in the meantime, I open a drawer and there are seven twist ties, two rubber bands, three pens that don't work, four burned candles and a ripped hot pad staring at me. Why in the world do I have these things? I am going to blame this on my Grandmother who lived through The Depression and has been a strong influence in my life.
From the age of two to four, I lived with Grandma and Grandpa in Kunesh, WI from Mon to Fri. My Mom was recently divorced from my Father, had three children to support and no financial help. My older two sisters were in school, but I was too young, although they did squeak me in to kindergarten at four which was more common back then. My Mom worked at St Norbert's College in the library, making what little she could and Grandma was a huge help to her.
My Grandmother had my Mom and then a few years later, while quite pregnant with another child, was kicked in the stomach by a cow. The baby died. In the 1940's, they let the baby naturally make it's exit. By the time this finally happened, it had ruined my Grandma's uterus and in her mid 20's, she had to have a hysterectomy. My Mother was an only child to a woman who wanted a dozen.
Many years later, along came my sisters and I, but my Father was a wanderer and they moved from city to city, state to state, while he worked and abused her. This resulted in the end of their marriage and the return to Wisconsin of my Mother. From this unhappy story comes a truly wonderful life for me because I found in my Grandmother a woman who had all the time in the world, and the desire to show me how much she loved me during a hectic, stressful time for my Mother.
Back to my original point, my Grandma lived through The Depression and every Cool Whip container or bit of string that crossed her path became a permanent resident in her home. I am not quite that extreme, but I do have hoarder tendencies. Sadly, I am married to a pack rat as well who comes from pack rack parents. We started our marriage making $11,000 a year with a baby on the way. Sometimes there is a reason for the madness, but it was time to adjust and realize you do not need to keep a box of shoe strings from shoes you wore 30 years ago.
Every item that leaves here, is an item no longer requiring my attention, my space or my upkeep. It is incredibly freeing to donate blankets I never really liked in the first place. It is uplifting to see someone squeal with delight when they purchase an item which has been sitting in the corner gathering dust for ages. It is amazing to open a cabinet door and see a bare shelf.
But, Dear Lord! I have so much stuff! It is easy getting rid of things you never really enjoyed in the first place, but then comes the tough stuff. The mahogany hall tree you found in an antique store that fit perfectly at the foot of the stair after you bought your first home, the oil painting you always admired which hung in your book store and clothes, strangely, clothes were very difficult to part with. Remembering where you wore something and where you might want to wear it again. This is hard.
Closet space is minimal in the cabin. We built it with weekends in mind, but I continue to remind myself it is larger than the apartment we shared when we were first married. We have bought under-bed storage containers for the things we just have to have and this past weekend JR was busy building me a spice rack in the "pantry" to free up some cupboard and drawer space. I'm pleased!
Every weekend we go to the cabin, I bring back items I had thought we would need there. I also bring items from home, see if they fit or look good and sometimes bring those back, too. I try to make a quick run to Goodwill once back home to get them out of here before I change my mind.
Sometimes I need to talk myself into getting rid of something. I will leave it front and center and force myself to deal with it. For instance, my ceramic 3 bowl set from Williams Sonoma. I have a whole set of L. L. Bean bowls, plates, cups, flour and sugar containers, cookie jar, you name it. I do not need another set of bowls even if they are Williams Sonoma and graduating in size and pretty and I have a bowl fetish, I do NOT need them. And they are big. So I left them out on my counter at home in League City and I had to keep working around them. Finally I couldn't stand it. I took their picture and they were gone by that afternoon. And it felt good! They were JUST bowls! Bowls I did not need. It takes time, but the more I release from my space, the better I feel.
There are items I can't get rid of. Photo Albums. I have taken pictures our whole marriage. I have put every worthy photo in an album in order. Remember the anal retentive comment above? I have approx. 20 photo albums and this is after I gave the girls their five or so photo albums EACH I had made for them from the day they were born until they graduated. I am boxing ours up for our future storage closet, but I kept out two blank books to fill once we move. I can't help myself. Other smaller items: My Grandpa's horseshoe trophy, my Mom's tiara she wore when marrying my Dad, my Dad's ceramic vase he kept his #2 incense in, a smell that will always remind me of him, some tiny antique shoes given to me by Mom, things like this. I really don't have a place for them, but I will find a place.
So there you have it. De-cluttering at its not so finest. I have someone coming tomorrow for a newer twin mattress I have in a not so new antique frame I refinished for my youngest daughter over 20 years ago. I got it from my eldest daughter's friend's Mom for $25 and stripped then stained it. But it's just a frame and the little girl who slept in that bed is now close to graduating college and we don't need it anymore.
I'm turning into a sentimental old fool.
I am blessed with the gift of storage. I know how to fold, stack, rotate and hide things to get the most out of my space. I LOVE organizing! Taking a jumbled mess of pens, paper, paperclips, etc., and making a tidy display of them fills me with content, but my ability can only go so far. It was time to purge.
Not terribly long ago, I would make gargantuan quantities of lasagna, chicken pot pies or soup and freeze for later meals. I am anti-plastic, so there was no Ziploc or Tupperware. I had six 13" X 9" glass pans, eight glass and metal bread pans of varying sizes, four 8" sq glass pans, 6 glass pie plates, canning jars galore, you get the idea. This began the seemingly never ending task of downsizing. I asked my daughter if she needed any pans and after she took what she could use, I was still left with quite a pile.
This left me with a dilemma, what do I do with everything I am de-cluttering?
I turned to Facebook and searched for virtual yard sales around my area. I came up with six different groups with over 6,000 members and started joining. After being accepted, I took pictures of my unwanted items, posting them with prices and details on each group. Thus began my 3 month journey of the most annoying time in my life.
I am incredibly anal. I am structured. I am impatient. I answer all of my emails and messages promptly. I hate people who aren't true to their word. I trust people. I believe a person when they say they will be at my home at 3:00 pm.
Never have I been stood up by so many people, then ignored when I try to contact them to see where they are. I am not exaggerating. For every person who came to my home to pick up an item, there were 10 more that didn't show, had an emergency, got called in to work, got in an accident, whose child was sick, chipped a tooth, twisted their ankle or disappeared from the face of the earth. This is fine, you can have all the catastrophes you like, but TELL ME!!! Cancel the meeting BEFORE the meeting time. When you are supposed to be at my home at 2:00 pm and are still waiting at the Doctors office at 2:15 pm when I contact you to see if you are on your way, you will not be making the 2:00 pm appointment you set. LET ME KNOW!!! I tried so hard to blow it off, but every time it happened, I felt like screaming!
I had my first ocular migraine caused by, you got it, stress.
I am $3,500 richer and besides my quadruple stroller which sold for $650, the majority of my items sold between $10 and $20. You do the math. This is how many people I have had interactions with. I only have a few more sell-able items, so I think I will make it out alive, thankfully.
Down-sizing has always been something I have been drawn to. It thrills me to think I will only be surrounded by things I love, things I use. It pleases me to know when I open a cupboard, I will like every single coffee cup in there. To look up from my book and see artwork made by my Mom or an antique egg basket perched just so, it warms my heart.
But in the meantime, I open a drawer and there are seven twist ties, two rubber bands, three pens that don't work, four burned candles and a ripped hot pad staring at me. Why in the world do I have these things? I am going to blame this on my Grandmother who lived through The Depression and has been a strong influence in my life.
From the age of two to four, I lived with Grandma and Grandpa in Kunesh, WI from Mon to Fri. My Mom was recently divorced from my Father, had three children to support and no financial help. My older two sisters were in school, but I was too young, although they did squeak me in to kindergarten at four which was more common back then. My Mom worked at St Norbert's College in the library, making what little she could and Grandma was a huge help to her.
My Grandmother had my Mom and then a few years later, while quite pregnant with another child, was kicked in the stomach by a cow. The baby died. In the 1940's, they let the baby naturally make it's exit. By the time this finally happened, it had ruined my Grandma's uterus and in her mid 20's, she had to have a hysterectomy. My Mother was an only child to a woman who wanted a dozen.
Many years later, along came my sisters and I, but my Father was a wanderer and they moved from city to city, state to state, while he worked and abused her. This resulted in the end of their marriage and the return to Wisconsin of my Mother. From this unhappy story comes a truly wonderful life for me because I found in my Grandmother a woman who had all the time in the world, and the desire to show me how much she loved me during a hectic, stressful time for my Mother.
Back to my original point, my Grandma lived through The Depression and every Cool Whip container or bit of string that crossed her path became a permanent resident in her home. I am not quite that extreme, but I do have hoarder tendencies. Sadly, I am married to a pack rat as well who comes from pack rack parents. We started our marriage making $11,000 a year with a baby on the way. Sometimes there is a reason for the madness, but it was time to adjust and realize you do not need to keep a box of shoe strings from shoes you wore 30 years ago.
Every item that leaves here, is an item no longer requiring my attention, my space or my upkeep. It is incredibly freeing to donate blankets I never really liked in the first place. It is uplifting to see someone squeal with delight when they purchase an item which has been sitting in the corner gathering dust for ages. It is amazing to open a cabinet door and see a bare shelf.
But, Dear Lord! I have so much stuff! It is easy getting rid of things you never really enjoyed in the first place, but then comes the tough stuff. The mahogany hall tree you found in an antique store that fit perfectly at the foot of the stair after you bought your first home, the oil painting you always admired which hung in your book store and clothes, strangely, clothes were very difficult to part with. Remembering where you wore something and where you might want to wear it again. This is hard.
Closet space is minimal in the cabin. We built it with weekends in mind, but I continue to remind myself it is larger than the apartment we shared when we were first married. We have bought under-bed storage containers for the things we just have to have and this past weekend JR was busy building me a spice rack in the "pantry" to free up some cupboard and drawer space. I'm pleased!
Every weekend we go to the cabin, I bring back items I had thought we would need there. I also bring items from home, see if they fit or look good and sometimes bring those back, too. I try to make a quick run to Goodwill once back home to get them out of here before I change my mind.
Sometimes I need to talk myself into getting rid of something. I will leave it front and center and force myself to deal with it. For instance, my ceramic 3 bowl set from Williams Sonoma. I have a whole set of L. L. Bean bowls, plates, cups, flour and sugar containers, cookie jar, you name it. I do not need another set of bowls even if they are Williams Sonoma and graduating in size and pretty and I have a bowl fetish, I do NOT need them. And they are big. So I left them out on my counter at home in League City and I had to keep working around them. Finally I couldn't stand it. I took their picture and they were gone by that afternoon. And it felt good! They were JUST bowls! Bowls I did not need. It takes time, but the more I release from my space, the better I feel.
There are items I can't get rid of. Photo Albums. I have taken pictures our whole marriage. I have put every worthy photo in an album in order. Remember the anal retentive comment above? I have approx. 20 photo albums and this is after I gave the girls their five or so photo albums EACH I had made for them from the day they were born until they graduated. I am boxing ours up for our future storage closet, but I kept out two blank books to fill once we move. I can't help myself. Other smaller items: My Grandpa's horseshoe trophy, my Mom's tiara she wore when marrying my Dad, my Dad's ceramic vase he kept his #2 incense in, a smell that will always remind me of him, some tiny antique shoes given to me by Mom, things like this. I really don't have a place for them, but I will find a place.
So there you have it. De-cluttering at its not so finest. I have someone coming tomorrow for a newer twin mattress I have in a not so new antique frame I refinished for my youngest daughter over 20 years ago. I got it from my eldest daughter's friend's Mom for $25 and stripped then stained it. But it's just a frame and the little girl who slept in that bed is now close to graduating college and we don't need it anymore.
I'm turning into a sentimental old fool.
Thursday, June 4, 2015
Taking the Plunge
30 Years! JR and I have discussed country living for 30 years. I say, discussed, because we have never actually lived in the country unless you count the trailer we lived in on the outskirts of Swansboro, NC soon after we were married. It had trees and an opossum.
We have dabbled in country things. We had rabbits, we have had gardens, we have planted many fruit trees, JR has had bees, I have composted our scraps and made bread from scratch. I have canned and made jelly, (not very well), and tried my hand at dehydrating and jerky, but we have always lived in the suburbs.
We first bought acreage shortly after 9-11 in 2001. 9-11 scared me, heck! it scared everyone. I wasn't going to possibly have something horrible happen without doing what I had always dreamed before I left this earth. We purchased 25 acres in a tiny town called Kirtley with every intention of someday moving there.
I loved it. It had a pond, a creek, mature pecan trees and even a cemetery with a few bodies from over 100 years ago. There wasn't a house, so we bought a porta-potty and the 5 of us, JR, me and our 3 daughters, slept in tents. JR rented a tractor a few times a year to keep everything mowed, but we had no country equipment of any kind. We started coming up with ideas of how we could make a living out there and make this dream of country living a reality. We visited cabin builders, drew plans, talked to a zillion different people about how they did it, but we made no firm decisions.
One of our brain storms was to manage a trailer park, but the Kirtley property wasn't set up for large campers or RVs being pulled in or out, so I started looking for other property online. 3 years after buying our place in Kirtley country, we came across acreage in Giddings. 22 acres of wooded land with all sorts of different trees: oaks, pines, cedars, persimmon, mesquite, chinaberry, etc. It had a 2 acre pond which was originally dug at 30 feet, a year round creek, a dry creek, and it was surrounded by farm land.
I dismissed it immediately because this property was way too heavily treed for an RV park and I didn't want to cut down a bunch of perfectly good trees for a bunch of campers. But JR was excited and would not stop going on about how perfect it was and how he could shoot out there and about all the water and trees it had and how it was so much prettier than our land in Kirtley.
I was mad. I was furious, actually. We were moving to Kirtley. All my dreams revolved around Kirtley and building a home and the placement of everything I might ever want out there. So I pouted, but Giddings had a nicer piece of property, so I grudgingly went along with putting the Kirtley property up for sale and starting the process of buying the acreage in Giddings.
One day while out in Kirtley, a woman, who was a professor in Houston, drove up with her 2 dogs and said she was interested in purchasing the property. I sat on our picnic table glaring at her while JR took her on a tour to all the prettier spots. She bought it. She bought it and built a tiny weekend home on it with a fenced area for her dogs. I know this because anytime we are around the area, I always make JR drive down the road, so I can see it. It was up for sale again the last time we drove past.
We bought the property in Kirtley with money I made from babysitting. It was the first important thing I had actively contributed to financially in our marriage besides small things here and there. I would make triple payments each month in the hopes of paying it off quickly, so we could move out there someday. It was everything I thought about. Even though we were moving up in beauty and quality of land in Giddings, it crushed me the day we sold the 25 acres in Kirtley. Giddings was the right decision, don't get me wrong, but it still hurt.
11 years ago in 2004 we became owners of 22 acres in Giddings. We tent camped for awhile and then purchased a used camper from friends, which we used for years and years until it was a leaky mess. We had discussed building a cabin, had gone to the model homes and filled out the paperwork, drew up plans, dreamed, but money and fear of being strapped stood in the way. This was until I lost my Mother, then my Aunt to pancreatic cancer and realized life is way too short.
You never know what is going to happen tomorrow or the next day and to live in fear of the unknown isn't how you should spend your time on earth. This is not to say you should go barreling in without using your head. There is a way to do things while still being cautious.
We went to a cedar cabin builder, the same one that we had been to 11 years earlier, and drew up plans for a small 2 bedroom, 2 bath cabin. We changed the direction of doors, put in closets, added outlets and a screened in porch, changed the outside walls to hardiplank, added spigots and lighting among other things. We created our dream on paper, then balked. Could we afford this? Could we afford 2 electric bills, 2 water bills, 2 mortgages, 2 of everything?
We looked at our finances and agreed to buckle down, pay some things off and try to reduce extra spending. We talked and talked and talked. We were in a good place financially. JR's income easily took care of all our basic needs and Kimbre's college living expenses. The money I made from babysitting was mostly used for anything extra we wanted to do, buy, or emergencies that cropped up. I saved a lot.
In February of 2014, we signed the papers with Rustic Cedar Cabins with a tentative plan for them to start building in April.
In March, my sister Nancy was visiting from Wisconsin and our sister Brenda and I all went to Round Top Market Days where there are miles and miles of crafts, antiques, food, drinks and booths with everything under the sun. Kimbre and Josh, her boyfriend, met us there and the plan was to go back to a hotel for the evening. We got the idea to go to our place in Giddings and have a campfire, along with some drinks and fire dancing, ie; Sound of Music.
When we drove up, there was a frame of a cabin sitting in the middle of our clearing. I was screaming unintelligible comments for a good hour. I can't express the feelings of uninhibited joy I felt, I just can't and even now, it brings tears to my eyes. It was one of the happiest moments of my life besides the birth of my 3 girls. My dream was happening.
In June, after months of watching each step of the process every weekend, our cabin was completed. It was red, with white trim, a cedar porch with huge cedar beams, a metal roof and exactly what we wanted.
We started the process of filling it. We brought every piece of furniture that meant something up there and then some. My Mom's desk; My Great Grandma's chair; the mahogany dish cabinet which was the very first piece I ever refinished; an antique barrister book case I had gotten for $5 at the thrift store and had refinished; my complete set of L L Bean dishes we had stored in the attic just in case; my black and white picture given to me by my friend Kris of a milkman and a little boy; a wooden shelf made by my Grandpa; a chest given to me by Grandma; my antique bottle collection; and odds and ends I had collected of other older kitchen pieces. I filled the cabin with everything I loved and that meant something to me.
We also bought a lot. A TV, a stereo system, a Blu ray player, chairs for the porch, 2 overpriced hose reels, lamps for the bedroom wall, hooks for the walls, fireplace doors, rugs, bar chairs, dishwasher, microwave, stove, refrigerator, stuff.
We went almost every weekend for a long, long time and we loved it. We still do. We love it so much, after a year of going there, we want to live there and downsize from a 2000 sq ft home to an 880 sq ft home with 2 covered porches with the intent of building a workshop. The workshop will include a garage; a workout room; a large storage area for holiday decorations, canning jars, memory boxes, and everything we just have to have that won't fit neatly in the cabin and a large office for JR fitted with a couch, TV and his reloading bench.
Extreme downsizing is something I have always pondered, yearned for, really. Living with the necessities and some niceties, but living more and having less. Having much less.
And this is where I will close for today.
We have dabbled in country things. We had rabbits, we have had gardens, we have planted many fruit trees, JR has had bees, I have composted our scraps and made bread from scratch. I have canned and made jelly, (not very well), and tried my hand at dehydrating and jerky, but we have always lived in the suburbs.
We first bought acreage shortly after 9-11 in 2001. 9-11 scared me, heck! it scared everyone. I wasn't going to possibly have something horrible happen without doing what I had always dreamed before I left this earth. We purchased 25 acres in a tiny town called Kirtley with every intention of someday moving there.
I loved it. It had a pond, a creek, mature pecan trees and even a cemetery with a few bodies from over 100 years ago. There wasn't a house, so we bought a porta-potty and the 5 of us, JR, me and our 3 daughters, slept in tents. JR rented a tractor a few times a year to keep everything mowed, but we had no country equipment of any kind. We started coming up with ideas of how we could make a living out there and make this dream of country living a reality. We visited cabin builders, drew plans, talked to a zillion different people about how they did it, but we made no firm decisions.
One of our brain storms was to manage a trailer park, but the Kirtley property wasn't set up for large campers or RVs being pulled in or out, so I started looking for other property online. 3 years after buying our place in Kirtley country, we came across acreage in Giddings. 22 acres of wooded land with all sorts of different trees: oaks, pines, cedars, persimmon, mesquite, chinaberry, etc. It had a 2 acre pond which was originally dug at 30 feet, a year round creek, a dry creek, and it was surrounded by farm land.
I dismissed it immediately because this property was way too heavily treed for an RV park and I didn't want to cut down a bunch of perfectly good trees for a bunch of campers. But JR was excited and would not stop going on about how perfect it was and how he could shoot out there and about all the water and trees it had and how it was so much prettier than our land in Kirtley.
I was mad. I was furious, actually. We were moving to Kirtley. All my dreams revolved around Kirtley and building a home and the placement of everything I might ever want out there. So I pouted, but Giddings had a nicer piece of property, so I grudgingly went along with putting the Kirtley property up for sale and starting the process of buying the acreage in Giddings.
One day while out in Kirtley, a woman, who was a professor in Houston, drove up with her 2 dogs and said she was interested in purchasing the property. I sat on our picnic table glaring at her while JR took her on a tour to all the prettier spots. She bought it. She bought it and built a tiny weekend home on it with a fenced area for her dogs. I know this because anytime we are around the area, I always make JR drive down the road, so I can see it. It was up for sale again the last time we drove past.
We bought the property in Kirtley with money I made from babysitting. It was the first important thing I had actively contributed to financially in our marriage besides small things here and there. I would make triple payments each month in the hopes of paying it off quickly, so we could move out there someday. It was everything I thought about. Even though we were moving up in beauty and quality of land in Giddings, it crushed me the day we sold the 25 acres in Kirtley. Giddings was the right decision, don't get me wrong, but it still hurt.
11 years ago in 2004 we became owners of 22 acres in Giddings. We tent camped for awhile and then purchased a used camper from friends, which we used for years and years until it was a leaky mess. We had discussed building a cabin, had gone to the model homes and filled out the paperwork, drew up plans, dreamed, but money and fear of being strapped stood in the way. This was until I lost my Mother, then my Aunt to pancreatic cancer and realized life is way too short.
You never know what is going to happen tomorrow or the next day and to live in fear of the unknown isn't how you should spend your time on earth. This is not to say you should go barreling in without using your head. There is a way to do things while still being cautious.
We went to a cedar cabin builder, the same one that we had been to 11 years earlier, and drew up plans for a small 2 bedroom, 2 bath cabin. We changed the direction of doors, put in closets, added outlets and a screened in porch, changed the outside walls to hardiplank, added spigots and lighting among other things. We created our dream on paper, then balked. Could we afford this? Could we afford 2 electric bills, 2 water bills, 2 mortgages, 2 of everything?
We looked at our finances and agreed to buckle down, pay some things off and try to reduce extra spending. We talked and talked and talked. We were in a good place financially. JR's income easily took care of all our basic needs and Kimbre's college living expenses. The money I made from babysitting was mostly used for anything extra we wanted to do, buy, or emergencies that cropped up. I saved a lot.
In February of 2014, we signed the papers with Rustic Cedar Cabins with a tentative plan for them to start building in April.
In March, my sister Nancy was visiting from Wisconsin and our sister Brenda and I all went to Round Top Market Days where there are miles and miles of crafts, antiques, food, drinks and booths with everything under the sun. Kimbre and Josh, her boyfriend, met us there and the plan was to go back to a hotel for the evening. We got the idea to go to our place in Giddings and have a campfire, along with some drinks and fire dancing, ie; Sound of Music.
When we drove up, there was a frame of a cabin sitting in the middle of our clearing. I was screaming unintelligible comments for a good hour. I can't express the feelings of uninhibited joy I felt, I just can't and even now, it brings tears to my eyes. It was one of the happiest moments of my life besides the birth of my 3 girls. My dream was happening.
In June, after months of watching each step of the process every weekend, our cabin was completed. It was red, with white trim, a cedar porch with huge cedar beams, a metal roof and exactly what we wanted.
We started the process of filling it. We brought every piece of furniture that meant something up there and then some. My Mom's desk; My Great Grandma's chair; the mahogany dish cabinet which was the very first piece I ever refinished; an antique barrister book case I had gotten for $5 at the thrift store and had refinished; my complete set of L L Bean dishes we had stored in the attic just in case; my black and white picture given to me by my friend Kris of a milkman and a little boy; a wooden shelf made by my Grandpa; a chest given to me by Grandma; my antique bottle collection; and odds and ends I had collected of other older kitchen pieces. I filled the cabin with everything I loved and that meant something to me.
We also bought a lot. A TV, a stereo system, a Blu ray player, chairs for the porch, 2 overpriced hose reels, lamps for the bedroom wall, hooks for the walls, fireplace doors, rugs, bar chairs, dishwasher, microwave, stove, refrigerator, stuff.
We went almost every weekend for a long, long time and we loved it. We still do. We love it so much, after a year of going there, we want to live there and downsize from a 2000 sq ft home to an 880 sq ft home with 2 covered porches with the intent of building a workshop. The workshop will include a garage; a workout room; a large storage area for holiday decorations, canning jars, memory boxes, and everything we just have to have that won't fit neatly in the cabin and a large office for JR fitted with a couch, TV and his reloading bench.
Extreme downsizing is something I have always pondered, yearned for, really. Living with the necessities and some niceties, but living more and having less. Having much less.
And this is where I will close for today.
Monday, December 15, 2014
Running out of Steam
OK, as most of my brilliant ideas go, I am losing fizzle and the time it takes to photograph and post every salad I eat is eating into my free time. (Pun intended.) Sooooo, I am going to keep eating or strive to eat at least 1 salad a day, but I'm not going to post them here unless they are new and exciting.
I had romaine lettuce with tomatoes and Italian dressing twice and Catalina dressing once last week. See? That would be a bunch of repeat photos and I don't want to eat salad for the photos, I want to eat them for my health.
I'll see you when I concoct something original or exciting. :)
I had romaine lettuce with tomatoes and Italian dressing twice and Catalina dressing once last week. See? That would be a bunch of repeat photos and I don't want to eat salad for the photos, I want to eat them for my health.
I'll see you when I concoct something original or exciting. :)
Monday, December 8, 2014
Mystery Salads
The two salads I am posting were not made by me, so I'm not sure what I ate. lol
This is a Caesar salad of some sort, I think.
This is not a Caesar salad. lol
This is a Caesar salad of some sort, I think.
Friday, December 5, 2014
Yikes, this is harder than I thought
Two days with no salads and 2 days with. I DID clean some spinach and put it in a bowl yesterday, but I wasn't hungry, so thought that was dumb to eat when I didn't want food. I am about to eat the spinach right now with some poppy seed dressing for today's salad. Tonight we are eating at the cabin with the Blackman's and she is bringing a salad, so count that as one of my missed days. lol It's my rules.
One of the two salad's was romaine, tomatoes and ham from Thanksgiving with a California Honey French dressing.
The second salad had romaine, tomatoes, cucumbers and turkey and I used an Italian dressing.
One of the two salad's was romaine, tomatoes and ham from Thanksgiving with a California Honey French dressing.
And I am about to eat spinach for today, not fancy, but a salad, all the same. :)
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Repeat, Repeat, Repeat
Day 4 salad was at Los Patrones in Giddings and it was gross. It was basically lettuce with ground beef on top and I won't be ordering that again.
I will most likely eat it again today because I made a fresh bowl last night when we had our neighbors over for dinner. There is quite a bit left.
Even though I repeated, I am still getting greens in everyday and that's what this is all about. :)
Day 5, 6 and 7 I ate a salad I call Nancy Rissky's Salad because that's
who I got the recipe from. It has baby mixed greens, julienne green
apples, oven toasted pecans with cinnamon and sugar and feta cheese with
a homemade dressing with maple syrup in it. Yum.
Even though I repeated, I am still getting greens in everyday and that's what this is all about. :)
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Salads Galore
I am trying something new. I read health books regularly and over and over they say, "eat your greens." I try and actually enjoy them, but so many days go by where I don't have anything leafy at all. Soooo, I'm going to blog about salads, with pictures, to help keep me accountable.
I was going to try to make 365 different salads for a year and then I thought I might fizzle out on that. I thought maybe I would try to make salads except when I went out to eat, but there are 3 meals in a day, so that's a cop out. Then I started stressing about keeping up with it and I hadn't even started, so I am going to try my best, without any pressure, to eat salad every day, any kind of salad as long as it's got leafy green in there somewhere. And document it. Here.
November 23 was the first day of my "Eat Salads Everyday Plan". It included Romaine lettuce, spinach, red leaf lettuce, strawberries, mandarin oranges, pecans and feta cheese. I used a Balsamic Vinegar Dressing to top it off.
Day 2 I had Romaine lettuce, spinach, tomatoes and cucumber with a California Honey French dressing.
Day 3 rolled around with Romaine lettuce, spinach, red leaf lettuce, hard boiled egg, tomatoes, cucumbers, shredded carrots and grilled free range organic chicken breast with a Honey Mustard Dressing.
I am hoping my photography skills improve because these tasted a lot better than they look here. lol See you soon!
I was going to try to make 365 different salads for a year and then I thought I might fizzle out on that. I thought maybe I would try to make salads except when I went out to eat, but there are 3 meals in a day, so that's a cop out. Then I started stressing about keeping up with it and I hadn't even started, so I am going to try my best, without any pressure, to eat salad every day, any kind of salad as long as it's got leafy green in there somewhere. And document it. Here.
November 23 was the first day of my "Eat Salads Everyday Plan". It included Romaine lettuce, spinach, red leaf lettuce, strawberries, mandarin oranges, pecans and feta cheese. I used a Balsamic Vinegar Dressing to top it off.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Child Care Woes
If you come to me looking for childcare and I
try to work with you, try to make it fair and offer payment options and
you keep looking for care somewhere else and not giving me an answer or
even respond to my questions or friend request, if my rates aren't in
your budget, but you ask me for later times and different scenarios and I
try to appease you, but you still don't confirm, PLEASE don't string me
along making me think I will be watching your baby. I get excited, I
get my hopes up, I start to think of the possibility of another baby
joining us and when you finally do get around to tell me no, then I am
in this funk like a mild form of miscarriage and it is upsetting.
If you feel I am too expensive, even after trying to help you, have the courtesy to let me know. If you feel a gym membership or a new car or eating out or whatever it is you do with your money is more important than good quality care for your baby, the most important person in your life, tell me and move on down the line. You are wasting my time.
This was at the bottom of the last blog post. I am putting it in here because this is how I feel. And it's MY blog. LOL
If you feel I am too expensive, even after trying to help you, have the courtesy to let me know. If you feel a gym membership or a new car or eating out or whatever it is you do with your money is more important than good quality care for your baby, the most important person in your life, tell me and move on down the line. You are wasting my time.
This was at the bottom of the last blog post. I am putting it in here because this is how I feel. And it's MY blog. LOL
Child Care
I love babysitting. I love caring for babies and seeing them happy, healthy, and content. I was born to do this. As a little girl, all I wanted was to be a Mommy. I started babysitting at 12 years old, had my first child at 19 and at 47 years am still surrounding myself with babies. It's what I do.
I have to admit I have OCD tendencies. I love making my daily lists of what everyone has done so the parents have no question about their babies day. Every problem has a solution and every day has a basic structure and I love this. I feel accomplished, rewarded, loved and busy. I love being busy. I took 6 months off after I sold my bookstore and thought I was going to lose my mind.
I do have routine hang ups. I want you here when you say in the morning, I want pick-up at the time you stated unless I am told ahead of time. I want consistency, even if you have a fluctuating schedule, but most of all I want to know what to expect.
I believe what a person eats or drinks is a huge part of what makes a person healthy or ill. It might not show up right away, maybe even 10 years down the line, but the quality of the food and water is so important. I buy primarily organic, grow some of our own food and try to only eat meats that are humanely raised and hormone free. I limit sweets, cook from scratch the majority of the time and blah, blah, blah.
We eat healthy over here and it shows. Sickness is almost non-existent and when they do catch a little cold, it is over quickly. These are little people who have almost no say in what we feed them, they are counting on us to keep them healthy. I LOVE feeding them 5 or 6 servings of fruits and veggies and seeing them thrive. I just love it. I care.
I do other little things, too. I abhor plastic use in the microwave, I don't use antibacterial hand soaps to mess up their little endocrine systems, there are childproof latches and plugs all over my house, gates on the stairs, everyone has their own wash cloth and changing area, we don't share cups, we all have our own sleeping area and we keep to a routine.
I feel babies need exercise and outside play. There's something to be said for Vitamin D and fresh air and the opportunity to run crazy. I need it, too. And if they didn't have a jacket that day and it was chilly, it's OK, I have spares for them to use.
I even like the toys and equipment.. I think nothing of buying climbing toys for the backyard, riding toys, puzzles, stacking toys, new cups, plates, bibs, blankets, playpens, high chairs, bouncers, swings, you name it. They want to be busy, too.
I potty train, kiss their owies, scold them when they are misbehaving, teach them how to use a cup and utensils, worry when they aren't feeling well or having trouble with something, give them hugs and kisses and tickles, sing and dance with them, fix their hair, wash their faces and even wash their clothes sometimes.
You know, I act like a Mom. I treat them like I would want my children treated if I were needing child care.
And I love them.
My rates are comparable to day cares out there, it might be a little higher than some, a little lower than others, but it's a fair rate. I'll try to work with you if your hours aren't 9-5 Mon-Fri, but I charge what I charge. And frankly, I am worth it. Not only am I responsible, but I love what I do. I honestly love it and it shows in their happiness. And the joy these kids give me is immeasurable. They fill my heart.
I guess that's all. lol Now I feel like an ad, without the whining at the end.
I have to admit I have OCD tendencies. I love making my daily lists of what everyone has done so the parents have no question about their babies day. Every problem has a solution and every day has a basic structure and I love this. I feel accomplished, rewarded, loved and busy. I love being busy. I took 6 months off after I sold my bookstore and thought I was going to lose my mind.
I do have routine hang ups. I want you here when you say in the morning, I want pick-up at the time you stated unless I am told ahead of time. I want consistency, even if you have a fluctuating schedule, but most of all I want to know what to expect.
I believe what a person eats or drinks is a huge part of what makes a person healthy or ill. It might not show up right away, maybe even 10 years down the line, but the quality of the food and water is so important. I buy primarily organic, grow some of our own food and try to only eat meats that are humanely raised and hormone free. I limit sweets, cook from scratch the majority of the time and blah, blah, blah.
We eat healthy over here and it shows. Sickness is almost non-existent and when they do catch a little cold, it is over quickly. These are little people who have almost no say in what we feed them, they are counting on us to keep them healthy. I LOVE feeding them 5 or 6 servings of fruits and veggies and seeing them thrive. I just love it. I care.
I do other little things, too. I abhor plastic use in the microwave, I don't use antibacterial hand soaps to mess up their little endocrine systems, there are childproof latches and plugs all over my house, gates on the stairs, everyone has their own wash cloth and changing area, we don't share cups, we all have our own sleeping area and we keep to a routine.
I feel babies need exercise and outside play. There's something to be said for Vitamin D and fresh air and the opportunity to run crazy. I need it, too. And if they didn't have a jacket that day and it was chilly, it's OK, I have spares for them to use.
I even like the toys and equipment.. I think nothing of buying climbing toys for the backyard, riding toys, puzzles, stacking toys, new cups, plates, bibs, blankets, playpens, high chairs, bouncers, swings, you name it. They want to be busy, too.
I potty train, kiss their owies, scold them when they are misbehaving, teach them how to use a cup and utensils, worry when they aren't feeling well or having trouble with something, give them hugs and kisses and tickles, sing and dance with them, fix their hair, wash their faces and even wash their clothes sometimes.
You know, I act like a Mom. I treat them like I would want my children treated if I were needing child care.
And I love them.
My rates are comparable to day cares out there, it might be a little higher than some, a little lower than others, but it's a fair rate. I'll try to work with you if your hours aren't 9-5 Mon-Fri, but I charge what I charge. And frankly, I am worth it. Not only am I responsible, but I love what I do. I honestly love it and it shows in their happiness. And the joy these kids give me is immeasurable. They fill my heart.
I guess that's all. lol Now I feel like an ad, without the whining at the end.
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