Being Solo

JR has been gone about a week and I'm ready for him to come home.  I miss having my friend here to talk to.  He's one of the few people I can say absolutely anything to about anything, say exactly what I am thinking without holding back. He understands what I really mean even if it comes out wrong. 

It's hard not having him here to share with.  We generally talk about the big and little things that have happened in the day with the girls, online, the neighbors, the animals, etc.  I can talk to others about this stuff, but it isn't the same.  We have a connection to these things, a common bond which makes what we say have more depth and meaning.

He loves the girls as much as I do.  When I tell him a story about one of them, it isn't just the story he is hearing.  He is also remembering the time she stared at the tire for 30 min or the time she walked like a duck down the dock or the time she memorized a whole book at the age of 2.

If I tell him something about our dog, he is also remembering the time our previous dog 20 years before did his job on the neighbor's lawn and the neighbor took a photo of it.  I remember it, too and it makes what we say more funny.

And he loves me.  I don't know anyone who loves me as much as he does.  When he left this past time, he called while I was out and left a message saying where the car was parked at the airport.  He called back shortly after and left another message saying he forgot to say the most important thing.  He loved me.  26 years and he called just to let me know.

I can manage the house and the family while he is gone.  I can go out with friends and visit and have a great time.  I can write blogs and emails to express myself and get things off my chest.  But it isn't the same.  I miss him.

Pam

Lies

I am sitting here thinking about what I have been told today about 2 people and I think I am being lied to.

I can't ask either of the people if the occurrences happened because they will just lie.

I was told we were being bad mouthed by someone to the whole team by a person who acted like she completely supported us when we returned Saturday.  If this is true, I was completely fooled by her performance.

I was also told there was definitely a vote taken from the girls by the coach if Kimbre should play Saturday.  Definitely.

Who do you trust?  I hate lies.

I want it to be over.

Is it summer yet?

Girls are Mean

Girls are mean.  I am going to tell a shortened version of what happened this weekend, if I can, and then hopefully I will have it completely out of my system.

We went to state on Friday for water polo and the girls played 2 games.  They won the first game and lost the second which put the 3rd game at 1:30pm on Saturday.  Saturday was prom.  Kimbre's one and only prom which she has made plans for and talked about almost all year and I am NOT exaggerating! 

As soon as we returned to the hotel after the game, she was on the phone calling to switch hair and make-up appts and was hitting a brick wall.  She was supposed to meet the limo at 4pm and they were taking group photos in Galveston at a beach house until 5:30 then back in the limo to Gaidos to eat.  None of this would be possible if she stayed at state to play at 1:30pm. 

She was so torn because she had made a commitment to all of these people for prom and had a commitment to her team to be there for them and she truly didn't know which way to turn.  I couldn't process all of it in the amount of time it was taking her to reach her decision, so basically watched all of this happen with JR. 

Kimbre decided to go home and miss Saturdays game.  She went into the room where all the girls were and told them she was leaving.  It wasn't easy for her to do this and she was sobbing with hiccups when she came out of the room.  I felt horrible for her.

We drove home and put in some frozen pizza and started talking about everyone's reaction to her statement and I mostly listened.  She couldn't understand why some of the girls were so angry and the more I thought about it, the more upset I was getting and the worse I felt about her decision.  I tried explaining where the girls were coming from by giving her a scenario using Julie, the goalie, as being the one who left her at state instead of it being Kimbre who left.  She said it wasn't the same, Julie was more necessary to the team. 

This made me mad and I went on a rampage telling her how vital she was to the team, how no one could keep up with her and what a great defense player she was.  I told her to not undermine herself because she WAS important to the team and that is why the team cared that she left.  That is why they were angry.

I went to bed, slept poorly and was up early, my stomach still in knots.  As soon as I saw JR was up, I went over and talked to him about how horrible I felt about her decision and he said, "There's still time."

I ran upstairs and woke Kimbre and said we would find her a new hair appt.  It wouldn't be with the lady she wanted, but I knew Fantastic Sam's did up dos and I called my sister, Brenda, to see if she would be back-up hair lady.  She said yes.  We would drive Kimbre to Galveston and take photos of our own when we got there and she could still ride the limo from the restaurant to the prom if we timed it right.  Her date would be single for group photos, the ride to the restaurant and the beginning of the dinner.

When Kimbre saw she could make some compromises without losing the whole night, she called her coach and asked to come back and he said ,"You are always welcome.  Let the girls know."

This is where the fun began.

She texted the girls that she wanted to be with them and ONE girl out of  nine responded to her.  Julie, the goalie, who is probably the sweetest person I have ever met.

We get there after JR drove like a race car driver through Houston traffic and met the bus at the natatorium.  She walked up to them and said, "Hi," and not one girl spoke to her.  She texted us that she would not be starting and that Coach Kapp took a vote and they were divided on whether or not they wanted her to play.  I looked at JR and said, "Let's go in, they are being mean to our baby."  Why would he say she was welcome if he wasn't going to let her play???

We sat watching another game until we saw our girls warming up and I watched as Kimbre acted cheerful.  I saw Tiffany, Julie and Elsa speaking with her, but no one else. 

The start of the game the captains have to speak with the referee and only Elizabeth went up.  Kimbre is a captain, too, and that really bothered me.  I could see her not starting, but to not go up as captain at the start of the game seemed hurtful and petty.  She CORRECTED her poor choice.  She didn't miss any games.  I looked at JR and started crying.  And cried some more.

She sat out the first quarter and I cried.  At one point, the coach was talking to all the players and Kimbre was standing at the side of the pool staring up at us in the stands and it tore my heart out.  As a matter of fact, David took a photo of this exact moment and when I look at that photo, it makes me so sad.  I did this.  I practically forced her to be there and there she was being ostracized by her team and coaches and it was killing me.  So I cried.

2nd period her coach put her in and left her in until the end of the game.  I didn't cry so much.

After the game, which they lost and were placed 7th, we skedaddled out of there, ran home, she showered, ran to Fantastic Sam's to get her hair done, ran to Dedde's to get her make-up done, ran back home to get dressed and take a few photos, drove to Galveston to meet the group at the restaurant, took a few more photos and then left her to go eat at The Spot and breathe a sigh of relief. 

Here they are in Galveston:

 

Kimbre told me later a girl who was NOT on the polo team came up to her at prom and told her one of the Mother's had texted her and asked her if she would choose getting her hair done over state and then said because that was what Kimbre did.  Gossiping bitch.  This woman is supposed to be soooooo christian with such high morals, but looks like she isn't perfect either.  What a shocker.

I hate people.

I am glad this is over and I was so comforted by the few that did support us when we returned Saturday morning.  There weren't many.

Kimbre said during the game, 2 of the girls were obnoxiously screaming at her.  Nice.  Amazing how sweet they look and how ugly they can be.  Amazing how they forget when they made a mistake in the past and how that made them feel. 

I wrote the coach today, the first time in four years over a conflict because I'm a firm believer in letting the girls handle whatever comes up in their lives. I told him I wasn't sure if this were true, but asked why he had the girls vote on letting Kimbre play on Saturday.  I said it might have been better to tell them she had made a poor choice, but had realized she was wrong.  They all needed to realize she had made a mistake, but had corrected it and they needed to pull together as a team.  Who hasn't made a poor choice every now and then? 

He responded saying he didn't do that.  He said he told them to be forgiving and understanding.  hmmm.  I don't think they were listening.  I don't know, but maybe our talk will help the next kid who gets in a similar situation. 

Exhausting weekend...I still feel drained.  JR left yesterday for Ethiopia, which doesn't help.  I always feel a little off the first day or two after he leaves.

Did I say I was going to write a shortened version?  lol  You know me better than that.

Pam 

Trail Hiking

Yesterday was book club at my house and we chose A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson as our read for May.  I haven't been able to stop researching through-hike trails ever since.  (Bill Bryson walked the Appalachian Trail.) 

The idea intrigues me.  Five to Seven months to walk a 2100 mile trail is amazing and something that is more than a little scary to me.  Actually, just about everything is scary to me.  But how fun and what a sense of accomplishment that would be.  WOW!!!  The only thing that would definitely turn me off  is if there is a lot of high cliff type areas where you could fall to your death.  Things like that don't appeal to me at all.

I dug around looking for other trails, (there are many), after familiarizing myself with the Appalachian Trail and found another called the Foothills Trail in SC.  It is a 77 mile hike and the photos I have seen are breath taking.  It would take approximately 5-7 days to walk it, but where the Appalachian Trail has a lot of stores and restaurants not terribly far from the trail, the Foothills Trail is more remote and you have to carry the whole hike's food and supplies with you.

JR is interested, but we are a little swamped at the moment with all of Kimbre's activities.

Isn't it funny how you don't have any desire to do something and then you see a movie or a book or a billboard and all of a sudden you have this burning desire to experience whatever it is you saw?  It almost consumes you.  My whole day has been shot.  I've eaten a ton of food because every journal I read about the different trails talks about food and how hungry you get and it is putting me in the mind set that I'm starving when in fact I'm not at all!

Back to laundry and maybe a nap...researching is tough work.  :)

Pam

     

Looky Here!

This morning, while on my way out to walk the dogs, I peeked in at the garden and look what I found!

Jalapeno Peppers!!!  The plants are maybe a foot tall and are loaded with little jalapeno peppers.  I am so excited!  Look at all the blooms...it won't be long before I'm candying and pickling these peppers and enjoying them mixed in cream cheese or eating them on my nachos.  YUM!  I hope I have enough to can a bunch and share with friends. How pretty.

It is overcast and I am PRAYING for rain.  It has been a long time and we need it.

I went to a friend's Mom's funeral this morning with Nancy R.  It was nice and I didn't embarrass myself, so that is always a good thing.  I didn't know her too well, just in passing, which helped keep myself from becoming a blubbering mess.  I felt bad for the family. 

I have been thinking about the 5K in Brenham Morgan and I just ran.  It truly was amazing how hard that 3.1 miles was.  I think it has to do with the fact I ran at my normal pace, but with much harder terrain.  I was talking to Nancy R about it this morning and told her I don't know how to regulate my running.  I just run and I was trying to make myself run slower up the hill, but I didn't know how to do it and it was near killing me.

I think I either run or walk, no in-between.  I don't walk fast well either.  My shins and calves start burning and I start running to relieve them or start walking slower.

I don't know how Morgan ran that race with no sleep.  Yes, no sleep.  She worked the night before, stayed up, drove from Austin to Brenham which is about 1 and a half hours and then ran this killer course.  I didn't sleep well the night before the race because I was worried about oversleeping, but I slept a lot more than none.  I told Morgan maybe she could sleep the night before next time, so we could run together.

Here we are:

I had a strange dream last night about a tsunami.  JR and I were standing in a field behind a mobile home with Coach Kapp's children and Kimbre, but Kimbre was young, about 6 or 7 years old.  We were all turned away from the mobile home and Coach Kapp's oldest daughter was laying on one of those lounge chairs that tri-fold  closed.  She said, "Here one comes!"  And I grabbed Kimbre and held her close, but the wave fizzled before it got to us.  We stood waiting and Coach Kapp's daughter pointed again and this wave was immense.  I was still holding Kimbre and just as it was getting to us, I woke up.   I felt so helpless.

I told Audrey the dream this morning at the funeral and she said it was because Kimbre is leaving for college and I am trying to protect her.  That thought makes me cry.  I sure am going to miss her...

Pam

Heading to State!!! WOOHOO!!!

Kimbre's varsity water polo team is heading to state on Friday this coming week.  I missed the first game where they creamed their opponent because I was an hour and a half away in Brenham running a 5Kwith Morgan, but I did get to see the following 2 games which determined whether they went to state and what position they went there in.

SO EXCITING!  I'm getting goose bumps thinking about it.  The spectators were going wild in the stands both games.  The first game against Creek, Creek was sure they were going to win.  So sure, in fact, I heard they had already ordered their state t-shirts.  They were horribly sore losers, with one girl practically dragging Kimbre to the ground when they shake hands after the game and they made signs rooting for our opponent in the next game, switching to opposite sides of the pool when we did at half time.  It made them look like spoiled brats.

The start of the last game against Lamar which determined our ranking was very embarrassing because one of our newer players physically attacked one of Lamar's more aggressive players by grabbing her cap and violently pushing her head down over and over.  I'm not sure if I'm explaining it right, but it was blatant violence and the girl came up swinging and clocked our player in the face.

Both girls should have been immediately removed from the game and the fact that they were left in was wrong on the coaches parts and on the referee's parts as well.  Our player got a penalty and had to sit out 30 seconds.  I'm sorry, but that was total BULLSHIT.  It made our team look bad.

After the game, the girl was reenacting the scene, showing how she was violently grabbing the girls cap and shoving her head down and 3 or 4 Mother's were laughing and encouraging her.  I went up to the girl and said, "It isn't funny.  It was a poor show of sportsmanship and it was embarrassing."  Her Mother started laughing hysterically in my face and I walked away.  I have half a mind to speak to the coach, but I don't want to embarrass Kimbre because what's done is done.  But it pisses me off!!!

Breathe, Pam, Breathe.

We're going to STATE!!!!  YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!  OK, I feel a little better.
Pam

    

Lightening the Load

Yesterday and this morning were spent going through my summer clothes in my closet.  I hung all my discards and too looses and too tights on hangers and brought them over to Changes Resale.  They will try to sell the clothes at their store and I will get approx.1/2 the profit.  I brought a lot. 

I have $60 on the books from bringing clothes in last time.  $60 for things taking up space in my house that I didn't even want.  Clothes that didn't fit right. Clothes someone else might love.  Clothes in my way when I try to reach for what I really like.  How freeing!!! I didn't even buy one thing while I was there, so I consider the trip a smashing success.

Changes will also take small home decor, so I brought in a large framed picture I bought when my house was mauve.  I was going to list it on Craigslist, but I just wanted to be done with it.   

The consignment shop is next door to Mrs. Baird's Thrift Store, so I stopped in. The aroma of bread products engulfs you as soon as you take a step in the door. It can make a bread lover a little crazy in the head, grabbing more bread than you will be able to eat before it goes bad.  I ended up with a loaf of bread, multigrain sandwich thins, ww hot dog buns, ww hamburger buns and ww bagels for $7 and then if you spent $6 you got to pick a free bread off of a cart and I got another ww bagel because they freeze good with very little quality loss.

I need to get back to the kitchen.  JR had painted inside the cupboards and I need to go through everything he took out and see what I want to keep before shoving it all back in there.  Kitchen sorting is very difficult for me.  I love organization, but I also like back ups.

I have been in a simplify mood lately, wanting to get rid of all the extra stuff smothering me in this house.  I had 2 paper shredders and asked Tressa if she wanted one and she said yes.  It had been a few days and her shredder was sitting in the hall and JR told me he didn't think it would be a good idea to get rid of it because ours was broken.  I said, "Really?!?  I just used that!"  I went to the office and looked at it and sure enough, it wasn't working.

So now I am ruined for decluttering.  Get rid of the duplicates or hold on to them?  What if one breaks?  Simplify, simplify, but what about saving money by having a back up at your fingertips?  ARGH!

Till next time.
Pam

Food and gardening

What a wondrous breakfast we had this morning!  JR and I were discussing how he had seen some red berries out in the field on his walk the other day.  I had thought it was later than April, when we picked black berries last year, which led me to comment on the fact we still had some in our freezer.  The last time we had eaten them, I had made crepes and we used the berries as filling along with some cool whip and we both agreed they were fantastic.  So I made them again, and they were heavenly and we have one less bag of berries in our freezer now.

Today I will be juicing the last of the grapefruit from the Schaefer's tree.  I pulled them out of the garage frig to warm up.  I am going to try my centrifugal juicer instead of my hand juicer and see if it will give me more juice.  We had eaten a ton of the grapefruit and I had cut up a ton and froze them and we had one more bunch left that I plan to juice for my drinks.  If you have never tried grapefruit juice with blackberry vodka, you should.  It is so tasty!  But be careful, they are very easy to drink fast.

I was having a bit of a dilemma trying to figure out how I was going to bury my potato plants.  If you recall, I bought 2 bags of dirt at the garden center for $20 and it barely 1/2 way covered all of the plants.  As plants do, they are growing and it was time to bury them again, just leaving the tops sticking out.  I had read not to use too rich of soil because it can cause potato scab disease.  I'm not familiar with that, but I didn't want to be, so my dirt under the rabbit hutch was out.

In the past I have read how people use hay to bury their potato plants.  Sometimes they use garbage cans, sometimes they stack tires, sometimes they build potato boxes, but I didn't want to get into all that.  As hot as it gets here in the summer, I thought being buried under dirt would most likely be cooler than sitting in a can, but the price of that dirt.  Ay yi yi!  Since I have a big trash can overfilled with hay for the rabbits in the garage, I have chosen to go this route and I can only hope it will be cool enough for them.

Here is a photo:

If you click on the photo it gets huge.  You can see the onions behind the potato plants, the tomato plants to the right and peas to the left.  If you look real hard, you will see my squash in the back right corner, the cucumbers to the left of the squash and the jalapeno pepper plants, which are starting to bloom, in front of the squash. 


Here is a photo of the whole garden as of this morning:

 

I am hoping we will have some great eating out of here this year.  So far we have only had asparagus.  I doubt I will can or freeze any of that because it gets mushy.  Actually, I could probably freeze a bag full and use it in lasagna or soups where it doesn't matter.  Hmmm.  Maybe I'll freeze some today for that purpose.  I will need to blanch it for a bit, stick it in cold ice water, dry it and then put it in the coldest part of the freezer to freeze as fast as it can, then I will vacuum seal it for later.  Yes, it's a plan if I get off of here in time before Kimbre's polo game at Lake.

One other project I have been working on is the grapefruit trees.

 

The 2 black pots with plants were from the Schaefer's from their grapefruit tree.  Bill brought them over already sprouting, but they kind of died during the hard freeze we had even though I tried protecting them.  As you see they have come back to life with some nurturing.  The little pot in front is grapefruit from the Rissky's tree which I believe is Ruby Red grapefruit vs. the Schaefer's  pink grapefruit.  Both are fantastic.  I planted the seeds in the dirt and they wanted to live, so there they are.  The Black pot with nothing has two huge mango pits in there.  

I read a book called After Dinner Gardening by a guy named Langer and am following his instructions on how to grow mango trees, but while I was searching the internet, I came across another article and it said completely the opposite of what Langer said.  Where Langer said to soak the pit for 5 days in warm water, the internet article said to let it dry out for 2 days.  I have tried Langer's way once before and it didn't work, so if this time is a wash, I'll try the other method.  Nothing lost, only knowledge gained.  

JR is calling for me to walk the dogs before Kimbre's polo game, so off I go.  Can't keep the man waiting.  

Off I go,

Pam