Girls are Mean

Girls are mean.  I am going to tell a shortened version of what happened this weekend, if I can, and then hopefully I will have it completely out of my system.

We went to state on Friday for water polo and the girls played 2 games.  They won the first game and lost the second which put the 3rd game at 1:30pm on Saturday.  Saturday was prom.  Kimbre's one and only prom which she has made plans for and talked about almost all year and I am NOT exaggerating! 

As soon as we returned to the hotel after the game, she was on the phone calling to switch hair and make-up appts and was hitting a brick wall.  She was supposed to meet the limo at 4pm and they were taking group photos in Galveston at a beach house until 5:30 then back in the limo to Gaidos to eat.  None of this would be possible if she stayed at state to play at 1:30pm. 

She was so torn because she had made a commitment to all of these people for prom and had a commitment to her team to be there for them and she truly didn't know which way to turn.  I couldn't process all of it in the amount of time it was taking her to reach her decision, so basically watched all of this happen with JR. 

Kimbre decided to go home and miss Saturdays game.  She went into the room where all the girls were and told them she was leaving.  It wasn't easy for her to do this and she was sobbing with hiccups when she came out of the room.  I felt horrible for her.

We drove home and put in some frozen pizza and started talking about everyone's reaction to her statement and I mostly listened.  She couldn't understand why some of the girls were so angry and the more I thought about it, the more upset I was getting and the worse I felt about her decision.  I tried explaining where the girls were coming from by giving her a scenario using Julie, the goalie, as being the one who left her at state instead of it being Kimbre who left.  She said it wasn't the same, Julie was more necessary to the team. 

This made me mad and I went on a rampage telling her how vital she was to the team, how no one could keep up with her and what a great defense player she was.  I told her to not undermine herself because she WAS important to the team and that is why the team cared that she left.  That is why they were angry.

I went to bed, slept poorly and was up early, my stomach still in knots.  As soon as I saw JR was up, I went over and talked to him about how horrible I felt about her decision and he said, "There's still time."

I ran upstairs and woke Kimbre and said we would find her a new hair appt.  It wouldn't be with the lady she wanted, but I knew Fantastic Sam's did up dos and I called my sister, Brenda, to see if she would be back-up hair lady.  She said yes.  We would drive Kimbre to Galveston and take photos of our own when we got there and she could still ride the limo from the restaurant to the prom if we timed it right.  Her date would be single for group photos, the ride to the restaurant and the beginning of the dinner.

When Kimbre saw she could make some compromises without losing the whole night, she called her coach and asked to come back and he said ,"You are always welcome.  Let the girls know."

This is where the fun began.

She texted the girls that she wanted to be with them and ONE girl out of  nine responded to her.  Julie, the goalie, who is probably the sweetest person I have ever met.

We get there after JR drove like a race car driver through Houston traffic and met the bus at the natatorium.  She walked up to them and said, "Hi," and not one girl spoke to her.  She texted us that she would not be starting and that Coach Kapp took a vote and they were divided on whether or not they wanted her to play.  I looked at JR and said, "Let's go in, they are being mean to our baby."  Why would he say she was welcome if he wasn't going to let her play???

We sat watching another game until we saw our girls warming up and I watched as Kimbre acted cheerful.  I saw Tiffany, Julie and Elsa speaking with her, but no one else. 

The start of the game the captains have to speak with the referee and only Elizabeth went up.  Kimbre is a captain, too, and that really bothered me.  I could see her not starting, but to not go up as captain at the start of the game seemed hurtful and petty.  She CORRECTED her poor choice.  She didn't miss any games.  I looked at JR and started crying.  And cried some more.

She sat out the first quarter and I cried.  At one point, the coach was talking to all the players and Kimbre was standing at the side of the pool staring up at us in the stands and it tore my heart out.  As a matter of fact, David took a photo of this exact moment and when I look at that photo, it makes me so sad.  I did this.  I practically forced her to be there and there she was being ostracized by her team and coaches and it was killing me.  So I cried.

2nd period her coach put her in and left her in until the end of the game.  I didn't cry so much.

After the game, which they lost and were placed 7th, we skedaddled out of there, ran home, she showered, ran to Fantastic Sam's to get her hair done, ran to Dedde's to get her make-up done, ran back home to get dressed and take a few photos, drove to Galveston to meet the group at the restaurant, took a few more photos and then left her to go eat at The Spot and breathe a sigh of relief. 

Here they are in Galveston:

 

Kimbre told me later a girl who was NOT on the polo team came up to her at prom and told her one of the Mother's had texted her and asked her if she would choose getting her hair done over state and then said because that was what Kimbre did.  Gossiping bitch.  This woman is supposed to be soooooo christian with such high morals, but looks like she isn't perfect either.  What a shocker.

I hate people.

I am glad this is over and I was so comforted by the few that did support us when we returned Saturday morning.  There weren't many.

Kimbre said during the game, 2 of the girls were obnoxiously screaming at her.  Nice.  Amazing how sweet they look and how ugly they can be.  Amazing how they forget when they made a mistake in the past and how that made them feel. 

I wrote the coach today, the first time in four years over a conflict because I'm a firm believer in letting the girls handle whatever comes up in their lives. I told him I wasn't sure if this were true, but asked why he had the girls vote on letting Kimbre play on Saturday.  I said it might have been better to tell them she had made a poor choice, but had realized she was wrong.  They all needed to realize she had made a mistake, but had corrected it and they needed to pull together as a team.  Who hasn't made a poor choice every now and then? 

He responded saying he didn't do that.  He said he told them to be forgiving and understanding.  hmmm.  I don't think they were listening.  I don't know, but maybe our talk will help the next kid who gets in a similar situation. 

Exhausting weekend...I still feel drained.  JR left yesterday for Ethiopia, which doesn't help.  I always feel a little off the first day or two after he leaves.

Did I say I was going to write a shortened version?  lol  You know me better than that.

Pam